Starting over can be so overwhelming that quite frankly, most of the time it never happens.
We justify NOT doing anything about it with a variety of excuses:
Our egos do an amazing job of keeping us right where we are. Their job is to keep us right there in the safety of our comfort zone, even though our comfort zone might have become quite uncomfortable.
Isn't it amazing how long we allow ourselves to stay uncomfortable? Why do we do that? For the most part it is:
If fear and self doubt are the #1 reasons that we stay miserable, let's conquer those things first! Don't go right out and start looking for a new job. I promise you if you do that without doing the inner work first, you will end up right back here again - and the cycle continues.
Do the work so that you can switch into a new cycle - the cycle of confidence, success, and fulfillment.
The good news is that getting rid of your fears and gaining confidence can all be done in one step - that is shifting your beliefs.
Both your fears and your self doubt live in your head, and they present themselves in all of the stories that you tell yourself about yourself and the world around you.
Step 1 - Listen to the stories that you are telling yourself. What is it that you believe about yourself? Write them down in your journal - put them on blast! Becoming aware is the beginning of making positive changes. Now that you hear what you are saying, you can change it.
Step 2 - Create replacement phrases. Now that you have become aware of your internal dialogue, you can change what you are saying to yourself into something that serves you. Every single time you here yourself saying something like "I can't" or "I'm not that pretty, smart, successful, creative, cool"...whatever it is! Every single time you hear it, stop yourself, and replace it with something empowering:
"I am enough"
"I am safe"
"I will succeed"
Anything! You can say anything you want, but I promise you that if you do this consistently, I mean
EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Be consistent and relentless with this, and in a month or so, you will no longer believe those old thoughts.
So while you're dreaming of a different life, a different job, a new career, or your own business, start working on shifting your core beliefs, and by the time you're ready to make a move, you will have the confidence to do so.
Now that you have shifted your beliefs into ones that will serve you and your purpose, it is time to jump into action.
Any action is fine. It doesn't have to be anything specific. It doesn't even have to be job or career related. Just start doing stuff. Especially stuff that makes you slightly nervous or even down right scared.
Because that is how you build confidence and expand your comfort zone!
Confidence is the thing that will help you walk into the board room, or the interview, or the investors office and make a pitch. Confidence will get you absolutely everywhere.
Have you always wanted to surf but afraid to try? Take a lesson!
Scared of public speaking? Sign up for Toastmasters!
Learn how to play an instrument, take an art class, learn a new language, pick up the phone and call somebody that you have wanted to connect with.
Just. Do. Something. (I can't say "it" because Nike said that first ;)
But really, something - anything!
Accomplishing that task will raise your confidence level. Who cares if you suck the first time. You can't expect to be good at something that you've never done before. The second time will be better, and the third time is a charm! You will become used to trying new things and stepping out of your comfort zone, and that comfort zone will double, triple, and quadruple in size.
Now - your beliefs support you and your purpose.
You are confident; you walk with your head high and your shoulders back.
Create Your Vision
What do you want?
What do you want your life to look like?
Where do you want to live?
Who do you want around you?
What type of work do you want to do? What problem do you want to solve?
Do you want to work for somebody or be your own boss?
What is your ideal schedule?
Ask yourself a million questions about every aspect of your life. Paint a complete picture of what you want your life to look like. And then work backwards from there. Learn how to fill in the blanks and create the life you have always dreamt about.
If you're still unsure about what direction you want to go in for your career, here are a few more questions you can ask yourself:
If you are wondering where the actual "how to get a new job" advice is, remember this: It is ALWAYS the inner work that will bring the external change. Here are the first three steps that you need to take if you are looking to make any type of major change in your life:
If you run out and get a new job without taking these three steps first, I guarantee you will be back in "stuck" mode again in no time.
Do the inner work, build a strong foundation, and the rest will fall into place.
If you could use a structure to help you build that foundation, try my digital course From Stuck to Success to get a fresh start and build from the ground up.
If you're ready to start with your vision and take the steps to your dream career, I would love to partner with you and provide the support you need to get you there.
Either way Join our FREE Facebook Community: Women Starting Over
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